Chinese Health Check

I’ve just returned from an experience that will be difficult to put into words… the Chinese Health Check.

Every person who is seeking some type of resident permit in China must complete a Health Check (and pass) before they are granted such permit. (without which, I’m not totally sure what happens, but my guess is nothing good.) Matt schedule my health check for this morning, so I woke up early (no breakfast) and caught a 30min cab ride out to an area still in Shanghai proper, but less skyscrapers, more 2 story homes, which were gorgeous. My cab driver understood where I wanted to go via the Mandarin address I showed him on my iPhone. Yes, that is how we currently get around: by showing our iPhones with translations. (How did people communicate before? I have no idea). Anyways, being that this was my first cab experience alone, I was a tad nervous but by following our path on Google Maps (still the best) I could confirm we were headed in the right direction. Now, I certainly didn’t speak a word of Mandarin to this kind driver, but he spoke Mandarin to me the ENTIRE 30 minute drive. At first, I felt bad because I could understand 0% of what he was saying, but then I just settled in and listened like it was background noise and occasionally nodded my head.

We arrived at the Health Check center. Good thing Matt gave me the heads up beforehand because it is a complex with quite a few buildings, but first one on the right is the health check. Walk inside and the lobby is filled with people, predominantly foreigners. First step, walk to the reception desk and check-in, show her your paperwork, for which she hands you paper work back to complete and directs you to the waiting room. Easy. As I’m filling out the paperwork, I realize the questions are not your typical physical details… see check boxes of “Leprosy” and “Plague”. Anyways, after I’ve checked an emphatic “No” to everything, my number is quickly called and I’m requested in another room to double check my paperwork. I start thinking, “wow, this is quite a system; very efficient.”

Then it gets interesting… so begin the exams… 1^st step: height / weight = easy. 2^nd step: change in the locker room into a robe. (Keep your pants & shoes on as learned too late by the guy in the stall next to me.) and put all your belongings in a locker  = fairly easy. 3^rd step: enter the hallway of exams… Room 1: blood pressure, heart rate, Room 2: Eye exam, Room 3: Blood work, Room 4: EKG, Room 5: XRay, Room 6: UltraSound (what?!?!) … There are about 8 exam rooms, about 1 dozen men and women zigzagging their way across the different rooms as there is no apparent order of events. No doors. No waiting outside. Just curtains, sometimes. There is also no time for coddling, pleasantries or even explanations. This continues to be a well-oiled machine where I imagine it’s most akin to what it feels like for a Toyota being sent down the inspection line before being released for sale. (Not the best analogy but what I got for now.)

Approximately, 12 minutes later (seriously, I’m not kidding you this was fast), I’m all finished and just need to check out. I should get the results by Friday. 

Cross your fingers I pass! (I’m hopeful because I think I got quite a few approving head nods during the whole process… not sure though)